8:30 a.m. ...Nothing. 2:30 p.m. ...Nothing. 10 p.m. … Still nothing.
These are the times of day when I would normally get a text message or a call from my boyfriend. Now, I’m looking at my phone and nothing!
After being in a relationship for three years, I got used to hearing from him at certain times of the day or calling him to tell him that hilarious thing that only he would laugh at.
So after it’s over, who do you text or call that’s going to understand? You can call your friend and explain to them a hilarious part in a Seinfeld episode, but they might not get it unless they’ve seen it.
If you haven’t guessed it yet, my boyfriend and I just broke up.
You may be asking yourself, “Why did it end?”
Why does anything end?
In this case it was boredom, repetition, fighting, frustration, jealousy, annoyance.
It was all those things that I never wanted for myself.
Unfortunately, the decision to break up with “Joe”, we’ll call him, was and has not been easy.
It really hadn’t occurred to me that there were any problems until I went on a tour of Europe this August.
A fight, that I knew too well, broke out about the same old thing.
“Why did you have to go to Europe by yourself? All of my friends are asking me and I don’t have an answer!“
I of course responded, “ It’s none of their damn business and I’m having a great time, thanks for asking.“
I was at a payphone in Switzerland at that time and because he couldn’t call me back I was left with a terrible feeling in my stomach. I was thinking to myself, “What kind of person am I with that is so angry and jealous, that they can’t even be nice to me when I’m thousands of miles away?”
After meeting so many different people and seeing an array of beautiful things I started thinking that maybe this path I was taking with “Joe” was not the one for me at this time in my life.
I’m young, motivated and have my whole life ahead of me and I don’t want to waste my time.
So I got back from Europe, and of course had him pick me up at the airport, because we know what a pain that can be, and then ended it the next day.
The first couple days after the break up were fine. I had more time for myself and I hung out with friends, and thought, “This is great! I don’t have to check in with anyone.”
Then after a week, I realized that I wasn’t fine.
The calls weren’t coming in and the inside jokes were being ignored.
I was regretting my decision all because of a bunch of little things that were reminding me of what used to be.
I missed the comfort and the security that I felt when we were together.
Now, we are trying to be friends but, as some of us already know, it’s never easy to be friends with an ex. At least not right now.
So until then, I have my real friends, my family and Gino, my new boyfriend.
Just kidding! Gino is my dog. I have to someone to snuggle with!
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4 comments:
Wow, all too familiar. I am kind of going through the same thing. Fighting and the work put into a relationship at such a young age.
The entire time I was singing that third eye blind song, too, ha. Nice work, sorry to hear about the breakup but as you probably know only time will make things better.
And I'm a little jealous you went to Europe
:( I heard a little about it during our walk! Boys suck sometimes. And I am wayyyy to familiar with the lets break up and be friends! Just be careful! :) And ready my blog... i got a new boyfriend too! lol :)
Great job!
Thanks for your feedback Susie. Yes, breaking up is hard to do and sometimes staying "friends" makes things even more difficult. But my "ex" and I both have our own career goals and we're being led in different directions so it's for the better at this point in life.
I agree, I can think of things to add and take away from my blog. Still it was cathartic.
Well done, without any Oprah-like stuff.
Thank you.
I think the writer made a valiant attempt to write about herself - and her change of relationship status - which is difficult at best.
This worked pretty well. More glimpses of that wonderful world of Europe would have made it stronger.
And Gino! Great touch.
One last thing, the column needs a slightly better time sequence to it. It's kind of vague and with a time element in place, it would put the entire matter into better perspective.
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